This is What Was


Baby blue, robin’s egg blue, silver coated radiator
Turquoise organdy curtains billowing in a gentle breeze
Gross grain ribbon threaded in the lace hem
Chintz bedspread with rose flowers in the design
A ruffled bedskirt touching wood floors
Full length mirror in the closet door to study a young body.
Nancy Drew books in the bookcase
Dolls gently placed on the bed
On the radiator, on top of the bookcase
Cherub and kitten prints on the walls
A bottle of Friendship Gardens toilet water
A private place for reflection and secrecy.
A Singer floor pedal sewing machine
Making pretty outfits for dolls
A record player for Elvis and Fats Domino
A diary hidden in my underwear drawer
Pages printed for different subjects
“My favorite boys,” “My favorite movies.”
My safe room
Webs of dreams
Freedom from expectation
One violation
Boy hands on my diary
Boys laughing.
Floating on the ceiling
Relief from unknown pain
A cigarette glowing just outside
The screen by my bed.
Frozen in my sweaty pajamas
Unable to get help.
Bass drum in the rear of the auditorium
Dances without dancing
Boys without boyfriends
Pretty clothes too shy to wear
Sitting alone in my room
This is what was.
Sheila W. Mooney
July, 2009



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